Scarlet XLVII
The dog snores quietly, sleeping contently on her twin sized mattress. The barn door sized white board stares back at me indifferently sitting on the ground against the opposite wall. It’s covered in notes, choices, Act’s, species, tensions, clock mechanisms, characters, locations, times, and I’m sure mistakes that I can’t see yet. So much time, focus, and attention…on something I’m not even sure is going to work out. With yet another deep sigh, the jawbreaker sized bouncy ball takes flight from my hand, bouncing off the board, before sailing back to me. Old and worn in, it smells more of dust than rubber, feels more gritty than smooth and tacky. It’s rainbow pattern of recycled rubbers in greens, reds, indigo, whites, and pinks becoming a red flash. A tedious, and comforting game of catch with a small childhood toy occupying the space in the room. There’s a version of me a decade from now begging me on his knees to enjoy this moment. This moment of frustration, annoyance, anxiety, fear, and friction. Yet, all I can seem to do is look back at you with hope that you’re happy. With another deep sigh, the bouncy ball bounces off the concrete in a scarlet blur, to the board, then back to me.
Scarlet XLVI
Don’t worry,
no one knows your name,
and no one ever will.
By now,
I’ve become an expert in pretending there’s no one.
But, they know,
they know there’s something I’m hiding.
Even when they think it’s something nefarious,
I let them think it.
The truth,
is that it’s just you sitting back there,
dancing with the wind and rain.
It’ll always be you back there,
but I’ve gotten a little too good
at pretending you don’t exist.
I just wish this storm would run out of rain,
before I drown.
Scarlet XLV
Purgatory was the last place I expected to see your ghost. A shared twinge from something ancient ran across our shoulders. Of the millions of faces I’ve met and seen in my lifetime, you are still the one that can’t be replaced.
Scarlet XLIV
From the mountain top,
I’m sorry
for how everything played out
exactly how I said it would.
Scarlet XLIII
No matter who comes,
or who goes.
No matter the achievement,
or the spectacular failure.
Regardless of miles traveled,
or how many boxes are packed,
again and again.
It’s always you when it gets quiet,
twirling circles in the Georgia sun,
in the field of stars.
Scarlet XLII
In my fractured and temporal memory plagued by mistakes and fading loves; this icy mountain range cradles my every self-righteous, soft spoken, self-loathing in the halls of their castles that call it home. My reality fractures, fading between myth and reality. Eternity and gravity. I lose my grip each time the ground shakes and the fault line appears. In my darkest nights on the mountain I remember you in the dusty books of these places. In this land of fading loves, you are not one of them, and my greatest fear is that one day I will see you here before me on the mountain. Held gently in the wind of summer Spanish moss and red wine, flickering in and out of existence. For now, at least, I’ll rest in the gratitude that you are far from the icy mountains of forgotten loves.
Scarlet XXXVIII
You should know Love,
that when I shook hands with my soul,
we walked away smiling at each other,
because we both knew the consequences,
and we knew it was the right choice.
A million of them
is not worth one of you.
I would do it again,
in this life,
and the next,
because it’s the best decision that I’ve ever made.
Scarlet XXXVII
Your plotting and scheming is carried on the cries of the crows. I see you and your webs, love. The murder echoes their warnings and they splash around me like the rain from the storm. The kingdom shattering your shadows.
Scarlet XXXIV
Tossing me in
the deepest part of the ocean,
and walking away,
failed to earn you praise.
Yet, in your absence,
praise I give,
swimming further away.
Deserving, you are not,
until the day the concrete angel
falls.
For all of Heaven
knows what we’ve done.
Scarlet XXXVIII
Go ahead…play dumb, like you didn’t know it was an execution. You knew exactly what you were doing the moment you began to listen to them. Save it, we aren’t listening anymore.
Scarlet XXXVI
I felt your energy encroaching. With a whisper I simply said, “Back up.” When I turned around you were gone and at last I could breathe again.
Scarlet XXXV
Seven years I spent wandering in circles through the swamps and black forests. Now I find myself, once again, standing before an unlocked gate. I’m overwhelmed by the compulsion to look back to the forest one last time. I’m unsure if I am more afraid of the light seeping through the cracks, or if I’m afraid you’ll come running out of the shadows again to convince me it’s safer here. The air smells cleaner through the door, the warmth of the sun is calming on my hands, and I can hear the waves crashing on the shore for the first time in a very long time.
Scarlet XXXIV
The dragon was resting peacefully. I had all but forgotten it was even there. Then you came along, crouched, and gently kissed its cheek. In your absence, it paces relentlessly, blowing fire, and slamming into the walls of it’s cage begging for freedom until we are both consumed in flame.
Scarlet XXXIII
Tell I’m still breathing. Tell me we didn’t break time forever. Tell me I’m getting older, that it’ll all be over soon. Tell me that this isn’t Hell, and I’ll do my best to believe you.