Destructive

There’s a piece of me that is deep within that hates to be happy. It awakens to destroy every beautiful thing in my life and then vanishes without a sound. Every impulse begins screaming that you don’t deserve any of it and it drowns me in the waves of its voice. My will is too often paralyzing me in the desperate self preservation of what is. God herself could descend upon me restoring it all—and I would still have disbelief and I would still feel the impulse to destroy it all over again. To receive everything that you could ever want is a nightmare that you can’t wake up from.

Fear

I am calm because everything I feared happened.

Raining Ashes

Feeding a dragon fire is generally a bad idea…but not always…

Dangerous Games

In my lifetime I have learned the art of death. I have come to understand it as an ally in both its graceful ways and its grotesque ways. The game of love is the most dangerous game that exists. It is the place where death becomes art in the most stunning and profound way.

I’m Burning

My core burns white hot while the world grows colder.

Rest in Peace

Thank you for everything, L.J. Smith. Rest in peace, your works will be remembered, Always and Forever.

The Runaways

We were young once. In our delirium we found a moment of peace on crystal shores, only to lose our grip in the muck of the swamps on what actually mattered.

Puzzle Boxes

Just another box that was left on the shelf with missing pieces.

Tainted

In a moment half of me was seared by Hell while the other half was claimed by Heaven.

Incomprehensible?

Those who settle for “good enough” in the small things will always question their mediocre life.

Another Fallen Angel

I’ve lost my sight. Despite the fire, all I see is the empty in your eyes. You’ve been dead longer than you know. It won’t be long now, surely the creatures know by now. They’ll be on their way soon, I can feel the rally cry from underneath.

Love

All we want is for someone to let our hearts bleed on theirs.

Noise

For the love of God, just give me all you have to give so I have a place to disappear to.

Crave

I fantasize about somewhere tropical and free from the material world. Somewhere I’m sprinting through the shadows draped in the fur of last year’s kills. A place where car engines and sirens are replaced by the sounds of the winds and the crickets.

Fragments

There are pieces of me scattered through history. A part of me is still gasping for air, soaked in sweat, drowning in your last words on a blood stained carpet. There’s a piece of me still locked in your green eyes watching the wind caress the scarlet curls from your shoulders. A piece is sitting in a hammock with a cloud of smoke rolling up through the Georgia rain with my best friend. There’s a hurt piece of me trying to come up with an answer that would satisfy a four year old girl’s question of, ‘Why are you crying?’ A happy piece of me is still watching art save the same girl from a haunted past. A piece of me is still standing on the side freeway with a thumb out. There’s a happy piece of me sleeping on a concrete floor with my dog with nothing and wondering how it disappeared so fast into a pile of meaningless possessions. There’s another piece sitting around a fire with strangers in Ramadan, staring at the desert night sky, smoking hookah, and listening to stories. Every fading memory takes with it a piece of its contributing soul’s. The price of exchange in life and experience. How much life must be attained before I am satisfied? I crave so much, and it’s never enough—but I have grown so tired and the weight of Heaven and Hell sits heavy in my mind. I spend so much time scaling crumbling sand dunes trying reclaim pieces of myself, that I might leap frog through time, forever falling short, dying of thirst in a desert.

Truly Unique

Someone asked about you the other day and the final moments of our last words floated by my mind slicing the best parts of me.

Media

Four years of immersion in both has taught me that if you want truth, read books and avoid the media at all costs.

Saviors

Usually the people who are certain they are trying to ’save’ you, are the ones who are holding you back. The don’t take risks people. Stay away from those people.

Use Caution

Use caution when dealing with someone who’s desperate to get along with everyone.

Survival

There is no amount of Love that can save something determined to die.