Scarlet XLVII

The dog snores quietly, sleeping contently on her twin sized mattress. The barn door sized white board stares back at me indifferently sitting on the ground against the opposite wall. It’s covered in notes, choices, Act’s, species, tensions, clock mechanisms, characters, locations, times, and I’m sure mistakes that I can’t see yet. So much time, focus, and attention…on something I’m not even sure is going to work out. With yet another deep sigh, the jawbreaker sized bouncy ball takes flight from my hand, bouncing off the board, before sailing back to me. Old and worn in, it smells more of dust than rubber, feels more gritty than smooth and tacky. It’s rainbow pattern of recycled rubbers in greens, reds, indigo, whites, and pinks becoming a red flash. A tedious, and comforting game of catch with a small childhood toy occupying the space in the room. There’s a version of me a decade from now begging me on his knees to enjoy this moment. This moment of frustration, annoyance, anxiety, fear, and friction. Yet, all I can seem to do is look back at you with hope that you’re happy. With another deep sigh, the bouncy ball bounces off the concrete in a scarlet blur, to the board, then back to me.