Brown Bird XLII

I spend a lot of time thinking about how much we gave up. About opportunities, about money, about social gatherings, about movies, about dates, about time with family. I think a lot about the number of nights I sat up with you, and about all the hours of extra care. I remember the mountains of pills, and bottles, and creams, and powders. The peace of mind that vanished at a moments notice—frequently. I think a lot about just how fucking lucky I was to be smart enough to toss the dice into the wind, and throw that stuff out of my mind. I remember just how much extra time we had together. I think about how much of a difference six years makes, and all the beautiful moments during that time. I think a lot about how much the fight was absolutely fucking worth it. There’s no place in space or time where I wouldn’t do it all over again for the opportunity to be that lucky one more time. In a heartbeat, I would do it all over again.