Nathaniel Hankins Nathaniel Hankins

Crave

I fantasize about somewhere tropical and free from the material world. Somewhere I’m sprinting through the shadows draped in the fur of last year’s kills. A place where car engines and sirens are replaced by the sounds of the winds and the crickets.

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Nathaniel Hankins Nathaniel Hankins

Fragments

There are pieces of me scattered through history. A part of me is still gasping for air, soaked in sweat, drowning in your last words on a blood stained carpet. There’s a piece of me still locked in your green eyes watching the wind caress the scarlet curls from your shoulders. A piece is sitting in a hammock with a cloud of smoke rolling up through the Georgia rain with my best friend. There’s a hurt piece of me trying to come up with an answer that would satisfy a four year old girl’s question of, ‘Why are you crying?’ A happy piece of me is still watching art save the same girl from a haunted past. A piece of me is still standing on the side freeway with a thumb out. There’s a happy piece of me sleeping on a concrete floor with my dog with nothing and wondering how it disappeared so fast into a pile of meaningless possessions. There’s another piece sitting around a fire with strangers in Ramadan, staring at the desert night sky, smoking hookah, and listening to stories. Every fading memory takes with it a piece of its contributing soul’s. The price of exchange in life and experience. How much life must be attained before I am satisfied? I crave so much, and it’s never enough—but I have grown so tired and the weight of Heaven and Hell sits heavy in my mind. I spend so much time scaling crumbling sand dunes trying reclaim pieces of myself, that I might leap frog through time, forever falling short, dying of thirst in a desert.

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Nathaniel Hankins Nathaniel Hankins

Truly Unique

Someone asked about you the other day and the final moments of our last words floated by my mind slicing the best parts of me.

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Nathaniel Hankins Nathaniel Hankins

Media

Four years of immersion in both has taught me that if you want truth, read books and avoid the media at all costs.

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Nathaniel Hankins Nathaniel Hankins

Saviors

Usually the people who are certain they are trying to ’save’ you, are the ones who are holding you back. The don’t take risks people. Stay away from those people.

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Nathaniel Hankins Nathaniel Hankins

Use Caution

Use caution when dealing with someone who’s desperate to get along with everyone.

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Nathaniel Hankins Nathaniel Hankins

Survival

There is no amount of Love that can save something determined to die.

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Nathaniel Hankins Nathaniel Hankins

Nostalgia

There are days where I miss the blend of smoking time fuse and a fresh pack of reds. That familiar burn whiskey and C4 smoke. Then I remind myself that at least now I am free.

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Nathaniel Hankins Nathaniel Hankins

Apocalypse

I carried you as far as I could. You became heavier with each step towards clean air. On the other side of the smoke it became apparent that you surrendered along time ago. Sitting at the base of a willow tree still holding you, I found a sliver of light in the mercy that blinded you to the ways of this world. It was in that moment, I finally found the strength to bury you.

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Nathaniel Hankins Nathaniel Hankins

The Student

You were the last shimmer of hope in this world. The hope that perhaps there’s something here still worth protecting. I hope you have maintained that light, Love. Don’t give up.

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Nathaniel Hankins Nathaniel Hankins

Perfection

It’s a myth. It doesn’t exist. If you get everything you want, you’ll wake up and realize that a life with out friction is closer to a nightmare than it is a dream. Everyone is searching for perfection while ignoring the fact they really just want the real.

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Nathaniel Hankins Nathaniel Hankins

History…repeats

Seven years later, three more projects, and round two begins. This time without the distractions.

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Nathaniel Hankins Nathaniel Hankins

Patience

If I have to hear that word to much more, I might just snap this chain and hurl the boulder at the town.

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Nathaniel Hankins Nathaniel Hankins

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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Nathaniel Hankins Nathaniel Hankins

Green Lights

There’s no such thing as a perfect time. Things are never going to line up the way you want them to. You’re most likely going to be alone when you decide to go for it. The only thing that matters is that you look both ways and then put one foot in front of the other. There’s no green lights, no red lights, no yellow lights even. Time is suspended in paradise. So there is only fear, or love—you must choose one or sit in stagnation in the presence of death.

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Nathaniel Hankins Nathaniel Hankins

End of The World

I would rather have love—even if it means bullets fly, bombs fall, glaciers melt, and volcanic overflow consumes us in its wake. I’ve always been partial to the fire anyway. I could hardly think of a better exit sign. Let it burn—so long as it’s in the name of love. We’ll become ash together and millions of years from now the survivors will unearth us just to write a beautiful inaccurate narrative of our passing. In that moment we will become immortals.

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Nathaniel Hankins Nathaniel Hankins

Closer

Saving the world is often easier than saving one person.

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Nathaniel Hankins Nathaniel Hankins

Winds

Your voice is especially restless tonight. As welcoming, and comforting, as it may be—it is also deeply unsettling. I never truly know whether it will be heaven or hell who visits. It’s been a long time since I felt like I was safe enough to trust a good thing. Especially when you are involved.

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Nathaniel Hankins Nathaniel Hankins

Istanbul

There’s a smoke filled sunset bouncing from your alabaster skin that I can’t wait to get back to. For now, I’ll have to live off the love of a heart pulsing from across an ocean.

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Nathaniel Hankins Nathaniel Hankins

Rot

It’s a lot easier to clean the rot from a black heart once it is burning.

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