Brown Bird XXVIII

I had to talk to family today. I know they mean well, but still I skirted around what everyone wanted to talk about. I whispered through the castle walls, barely loud enough to let them know I hadn’t painted the ceiling red yet. Which, if we’re honest, is the unspoken question whenever anyone loses a partner. I was polite, and I didn’t give specifics. Told them, “No, I’ve just been enjoying being away from my phone.” Which is true, and not at the same time. I sat there on the phone staring at your bed, and was aware that I wasn’t in the conversation from the beginning. After a few minutes I just said, “Yeah, I’m thinking I’m just going to take another week away.” I thought I’d feel bad, thought I’d feel like a bad son, bad friend, or whatever—but I felt lighter, more free. These chains aren’t helping things, and if putting distance between them and I lightens the load—then distance is what I’m going to create.